I originally posted this on November 20th, 2019. My views have changed slightly since then. I don’t know about the afterlife and what it is I’ll want to achieve there. I have enough to think about just getting through this life. I do go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, previously known as the Mormon church and I’m trying to get to the temple. I said to some of my ward members that I didn’t care if anyone accepted me there because that’s not what I’m there for. I’m there because God exists and Jesus Christ lives and is our redeemer. This church is the true church, I’ve seen enough in the last year and a half to never doubt that again.

I’m posting this because it’s still relevant. I’m sorry about the swearing, but I didn’t want to edit this. I did take one redundant sentence out because it always bugged me. This was obviously posted before I went back to church in January 2021. I was never intending on going back to church. But here I am.

The November 20, 2019 post:

I’m Going to Say This Because I Love the Reactions I Get

Seriously. I like to be a decent human being and treat others with dignity and respect, but I equally like to call people out on their bullshit, especially when they pretend that they don’t read my blog and give me condescending smirks. Yes, I saw you assholes giving me that look as I left today. I find it amusing that you don’t have anything better to do than read my blog. Then you will also look at me for my approval. Was it you that I was calling out? Yeah, probably. The old dude that glares at me every time I enter the lunchroom, the dickhead who can’t be bothered to respond to my friendly comment about your injury, the guy with the Utah shirt and tattoos that looks at me smugly every time I see you. The HR girl still gets noticeably nervous around me after I called her out the last time. I get a little bit of satisfaction from it. You’re not reading my blog, so I get to say what I want. That’s how it works, right?

This is Utah Mormon culture for you. Did you know that Utah’s teenage suicide rate rose 4 times faster than the national average? Do you know why? Because you are the assholes who are raising children to be assholes just like you. Do you know that bullying is rampant in the Mormon church? When I was a teenager I was the beehive president, miamaid president, and the laurels president and I spoke at my seminary graduation. Do you know what my young women’s leaders always asked me to do? Befriend the inactive girls because I was the only person who was nice to them. Do you know why I don’t go to church? Because I don’t have any desire to be a goddess with a sole purpose of having billions of spirit babies and supporting my husband and his other wives. Also, if I’m content with not going to the celestial kingdom why would I ever want to spend a second with you assholes? And why would I ever subject my son to that?

I’m sure there was a nicer and more diplomatic way to say that but that’s okay. I apologize to my family and friends who are Mormon because you are fantastic, but in my experience, it isn’t the norm.

I left the church when I realized that I hadn’t been around a lot of non Mormons and the people who treated me with the most acceptance and kindness were those outside the faith. Your Prophet Gordon B. Hinkley knew this. I remember him speaking in conference about the ‘Holier than thou’ attitude from the members of his congregation. But you don’t think you’re a part of the problem right? Couldn’t be you. The last time I went to church I was visiting my brothers ward in Daybreak. My nephew was speaking about not being able to reach perfection in this life and the young girl that spoke before him was talking about friendship. I had just happened to read an article a couple of weeks prior about the suicide rate, bullying, and the unreasonable standards we place on each other and ourselves in this state. It said that the amount of plastic surgery done here is almost the highest in the nation. Did you know that? Anyway, these talks nice and all, but you could tell that the girl didn’t understand the importance of what she was saying. There was no way that congregation was going to put two and two together that the two talks were related and one of the single most important things they could be discussing right then.

I don’t get into politics and I usually stay out of discussions about religion but this is something I’m very passionate about. Treat. Each. Other. Respectfully. Period. You are not better than anyone else.

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