I’m Staying

I’m going to be honest, I know that I’m supposed to see this through. I’m supposed to stay. It’s the answer I’m receiving from our Heavenly Father, but I also really enjoy being stubborn. If I am immersed in a cause, I’m all in.

You see, if my stalker would have just left me alone and not tried to get me fired, I would’ve quit a long time ago. Years ago. So every time you see me and you don’t want to make eye contact because I make you uncomfortable, you can thank my stalker.

I’m staying. I start my therapy sessions (on company time) next week. This amuses me to no end. This was very hard at first but I’m starting to enjoy this struggle. Do you know why I have to go to therapy? Because I stated to Ethics that “sometimes I’d rather die than go through what I’ve been going through.” Which is true, but this has also gotten so silly that it’s beyond comprehension. It’s become kind of fun. What isn’t fun is trying to decipher who is being genuine with me so I just assume that nobody is being genuine. I just treat them with kindness anyway. I don’t really care if they think I’m stupid for buying it. Being thought of as stupid has had its advantages.

All in all though, if you are kind and respectful to me I will treat you accordingly. I will always defend myself but I’ll never be the offender.

I’m willing to forgive, I always have been. You just have to let me.

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